I've been a bad dad and husband. I have been really focused on my work, just as I was before we moved here, and haven't given Kim or the girls enough attention. And, I've been too judgmental as well. Kim is feeling really hurt and isolated right now which she only just verbalized today.
I have embraced "less is more" in a way that has obviously outpaced Kim's comfort level. When she has expressed frustration, I have been less than sympathetic. We don't necessarily have the same expectation/observations of our life here. A problem is likely I'm a bad listener and we plan differently.
Essentially, Kim is overwhelmed by needs presented at our door. Constant requests for physical and financial assistance which we cannot meet are draining. Our network here doesn't share the same sense of organization or prioritization that would help resolve our issues in the short term.
I think she is correct about most of the things which are stressful to her. I apologized today and committed to being a better communicator and partner. I'm surely focused on the mission but need to exercise better sensitivity when it comes to responding to my family's concerns.
I'm writing in the hopes you will pray for us. Pray for peaceful conversations, reduced worry over finances, and for grace.
This isn't meant to be an alarming message. We are fine. I just feel like I've missed opportunities as the head of this house and I'm asking for your prayers that I would do a better job all around. Transitions are never easy and we still have a lot to learn about serving on the mission field.
I appreciate your wisdom, guidance and prayers. Feel free to reach out to Kim if you feel inclined. You can send me a message too and remind me to stop behaving like a moron.
-Mason
Our mailing address:
McDowell's
L'hopital Adventiste de Bere
52 Boîte Postale
Kelo, Tchad, Afrique
I-Message & email info: mcdowellcrna@gmail.com
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