In the OR until 5pm today. Home to eat & shower & ready to relax...
645pm called to see a ~18month old baby girl who aspirated a peanut.
Deep retractions, blood oxygen levels very low & falling. I was able to hand ventilate & let her breathe Halothane (with my draw over vaporizer kit). Intubated no problem but after multiple multiple attempts we couldn't remove that peanut. We tried every trick in the book & made up some new ones but nothing worked. Physically & emotionally exhausted, we finally made the hardest choice and had to quit. There is no plan B here. No bronch equipment. No ventilator. No helicopter.
I picked up that baby and carried her to her mother & explained all we tried. Mom nodded & with tears in her eyes she turned and carried that baby off into the darkness to die. I came home & cried. Who wants to cry with me?
-Mason
I too have held a baby in my arms, knowing that there was nothing we could do. While it never gets easier, you do learn how to process and move on. Its hard, friend. We all understand.
ReplyDeleteAw... So hard. Teary here. I'm sorry. Thank you for trying. Alison C.
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