If I close my eyes, I can see an image of my wife, Kim, lying in our bed with our girls. Just snuggling.
Kim lays on her side and pulls one of the girls tight against her-- their face buried into her chest and they squeeeeze each other. You can see the love. It's very sweet.
Yesterday we had a little boy arrive to pediatrics. Apparently, he drank some pesticide spray. Our pediatric consult area is outdoors. Under the trees, in the dirt, there is an old metal bed frame with a metal mesh-like surface that we sit on. Sometimes when kids need close monitoring, they lay on this "bed". I was very busy in the OR but finally got out to check on the boy. He was laying on his side on the metal bed...And it was clear...he was dying. The team had given him all of the WHO recommended infusions and medicines but it was just too much pesticide and he arrived too late. He was dying of organophosphate poisoning.
I slipped a pulse oximeter out of my pocket to confirm what I already knew. Oxygen levels were very very (very) low. I couldn't believe he was alive with numbers that bad. He was drowning right in front of us.
We have no ventilator. He will not recover. It was not a pretty way to die.
I kneeled down to tell the mother and father the sad reality: your son is going to die...very soon. The mom walked away in obvious despair but returned quickly. She crawled up onto that metal bed frame and snuggled up to her son. She pulled him tightly against her body with his face buried in her chest and she hugged him as she sobbed. I could see so clearly my own wife snuggling our daughters in the same manner. She does it almost everyday. And this was the last time this momma would ever snuggle her little boy. I can't imagine the depth of pain but I had an intensely personal response to her grief. I saw her as I would have seen my wife and my child and I had to push back the tears.
I sent away the very large crowd that had gathered around to watch. I wanted the family to have privacy and let that boy die in peace. I offered medication to make him comfortable and told them to stay as long as they wanted. The dad requested to leave immediately. He walked away to hire a moto. I couldn't understand and I kept asking them to please stay. The boy is almost gone...don't let him die on the road. But they left.
This is Chad. Most people are poor. I found out later that it costs a lot more to hire a moto to carry a dead body than a passenger. They had to get moving right away or they couldn't afford to get home. I would have paid double...triple...anything to let that boy die in a bed while snuggling his momma.
Snuggle your loved ones tonight.
-Mason
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